Ticker Tape Mystery

Ok, I solved the ticker tape mystery. At first I thought the larger numbers represented the months but actually they are referring to the years. I selected the "bringing baby home" ticker so it would give months/weeks/days but the ticker doesn't start with the day you enter your info. They assume you are waiting two years. Waiting that long would not be fun, but how depressing would that be to actually know a date two years in advance? I guess we will see the baby move a little at the end of December.

Mary Janes

Aren't these just the cutest socks? I saw them at Mistletoe Market but I was one day away from finding out that we were getting a girl. Which kept me from many unecessary purchases that day. I have requested them for Christmas and if I don't get them then I will definately spring for them myself. I hope I can keep up with them better than I do my own socks.

Curious Weather

I just checked the weather in Utah and the high today is in the lower 30's. I guess we better get our gloves, hats and scarves ready.

Cabbage Patch Baby

Has anyone else noticed that the baby on the ticker tape never moves? What is the deal? I can't figure out the measuring system it is using. Do the numbers move and not the baby?

Knit, Purl, Knit, Purl...um Knit?

Well have started the hat for the baby. Amanda was a good teacher and I think I have the stiches down but I can't count to save my life. How I can mess up on alternating two stiches is beyond me. I have started over 4+ times and now I my hopes for a "good" hat are diminishing. The yarn is so cute and soft and I can't really see the individual stiches so that makes it look better but then again that may be my problem. I fully anticipate having to start over again. Maintaining consistent tension is also hard. For all I know this hat may fit me when I am done.

I will post a picture of my beginning when I find the cord to my camera...and my camera. I should be cleaning instead of knitting.

Hope everyone had a good Thansgiving. We are going to Yazoo City tomorrow so we aren't done yet, which I like.

Jess

Home Study/Social Worker

Keeping my promise to post on Adoption in general I thought I would post something related to the process itself. The first thing we had to do was find a scoial worker and get a home study. We used a social worker that lives in Jxn but works for an agency in Tupelo. She was so nice and was willing to schedule our three required visits as close together as we wanted them. The first was just information gathering and we met at Jason's Deli. The other two were at our home the first being the inspection. We frantically cleaned our house and straightened the garage and she didn't even go in there. She better not come back and go in there now because it is back...

We basically just showed her around the house and she did our interview, which included questions about our families, our health, discipline methods, etc. We had some paperwork to do for her like providing references and doing a statement of faith (because it is a Christian agency) but this stuff helped speed things along for the Utah agency because we had it done. The second interview she talked to us separately (not really sure why). Less than 30 days later she had our life history in a report and it was ready for us to send it to our Utah agency. We started getting all the Utah paperwork ready and sent in our home study along with it all. This started the process for the Agency we are using.

Agency Call

We got a call from the agency this evening. They were just checking in and giving us an update. We are still on track and one of the staff members took Katie to lunch last week. Her doctor's appointment went well and they said that she brought our profile to lunch and was still excited about us. She and the staff member were talking about how much we looked alike (me and katie). She has brown hair and blue eyes so I knew that was similar but apparently our facial features are similar too. It is funny how people go through the "claiming process" with the birthparents and adoptive parents just like we will with the baby. If you don't know what the "claiming process" is, I will tell you. I read this somewhere but apparently it is when everyone starts looking at a new child and saying how much they look like someone. People do it with adopted children too which is kind of funny.

Open Adoption

Adoption has changed so much in the past 10 + years. It use to be that you could not get any information about your birth parents even for health history and birth parents were left not knowing anything about their child, whether they were happy or even alive. Now you have what is called Open Adoption. Because of open adoption, we got all kinds of information on the birth parents and their siblings and other relatives before we made our decision. You might hear this term and think that it means that the birth parents retain some kind of rights to the child but that really isn't what it means. Open adoption is meant to provide communication between the birth parents and adoptive parents before and even after the adoption. This is healthier for the birth parents because in knowing that their child is happy they don't live a life of regret and what-ifs. Contact after the adoption varies in each case but to give an example our birth mother asked that pictures and letters be sent by us once a month for the first six months and yearly thereafter until the child is 18 (though I can't imagine stopping at that point). Letters would be sent to the agency and they would get them to the birth parents. Open adoption agreements vary and there is more to it than what I have written but this gives a general idea. Another thing that has changed about adoption is that you NEVER hear of people not telling their child that they were adopted.

The Decision

It seems like everyone has a different reason to adopt but their purpose is all the same...to end up with a child. Adam and I had always said that we would adopt a boy if we had 3 girls and vice versa. I have heard several people say that they wanted to adopt someday and we just decided why not go ahead (Hey, and don't forget that it is very chic these days...I mean if Angelina can do it so can I) . I don't think we really decided until we got a packet from an agency in Utah. I am not sure if it was the cute paper they used or what but we just got so excited about the prospect. We had been talking about adoption and foster care a lot in the past year as a friend of mine volunteered/worked a the Baptist Children's Village and my mom was getting interested in doing that too. Every week there was a story about kids who needed homes, sadly most of those children are unadoptable due to parents not relinquishing their rights in the hopes that one day they would be able to raise them. And let's face it most people want babies anyway.

We decided to go the agency route and to pursue adopting now because...why wait if it is something you want to do? We have had such a good experience with it and that makes me want to squash any reasons not to do it. Please don't take this as me saying EVERYONE should do it but if you have the need or heart or home for it then YOU should. Here are a few reasons I have heard for not adopting. It costs to much...not anymore than a Camry and you don't get a 10,000 tax credit for buying a Camry, but you do for adoption (and if you get twins you get 20,000-it practically pays for itself!). It takes to long...not if you are willing to pay a bit more for an agency that uses the extra money for advertising. (our agency average is 5 months or less if you don't specify a boy or girl) All birth mothers are on drugs...I am not going to even comment on that except to say that it is not true. Circumstances are all different and most are sad but we should be thankful that they choose to give the child a family now and that they don't keep them and the child ends up in foster care later like some children. I (or my spouse) wants biological children only...I hear you. I think everyone wants a mini me but if you really believe that God is in control of every aspect of your life and does everything for your good and His glory then you may have to accept that adopting children is his way of giving you a family. If that isn't enough, think about a friend or relative you know that is adopted (try to use someone good that you like or this won't work) and imagine if they weren't adopted and what your life would be like without them...What if the mother changes her mind at the last minute...much like a miscarriage this would be a VERY hard thing, but again at God's hand. In addition, with the use of a good agency, you can be sure that the mother has been counseled and it being supported throughout this process. Including, when it is time to sign the baby over. Also, knowing that they can have some information that the baby is ok and happy (see the Open Adoption post) they are less likely to change their minds.

The bottom line is that if we are pro-life then we need to be pro-adoption. And again, I don't mean that I am saying everyone should do this or has to do it but I would not let any of the above (or similar) reasons be a deterrent if it is something that you want to do.

Adoption Process

Adam and I had planned to use the blog during our wait to inform people about adoption and the process (at least what we know from our experience). So far we have had such a good experience and it seems like there are so many people interested in it either for themselves or someone they know. So, I plan to post about adoption in general in the days/weeks to come.

Jess

Thanksgiving

I think I just realized how fast the next 2 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days will pass. Next week is Thanksgiving and I am already making mental plans for the spring. Don't get me wrong, I will definitely savor (I don't mean food for once in my life, food is my enemy right now) every bit of the holiday season as it is, of course, my favorite time of the year as well as our last bit of "freedom" before we start living the life of the "schedule". I see myself as a semi-laid back person. (Meaning, I have to be the suggested 30 minutes early for a movie but I will wear the same pair of pants to work in the same week on a Monday/Thursday senario.) So I don't think that we will stop doing what we do now, though I am not stupid and I know that our life will change. At this point, I think we have plenty of (free) babysitters so I think we will get out some if I can LEAVE MY BABY! It makes me think back to my babysitting days when we didn't charge per child and when we were asked what our rate was it was simply "whatever you pay me". Boy things have changed. I hear the going rate at the Reservoir is $10 an hour for two kids. Yikes. I better go get my winning lotto ticket soon.

Jess

Huge Ziplock Bags

I want to recommend the new XL and XXL Ziplock bags. I bought some on Friday and used them to sort all the different sizes in clothes that I have for the baby. They were cheaper than plastic bins and they take up less room. They have all sorts of uses. They just might help me tackle my guestroom which suffered greatly when I cleaned out the closet in the nursery. Basically I just moved all my junk from one room to the other. My mom had bought some boy things and some girl things on sale and at garage sales. Just some things that didn't cost much (think .50 -$2.00) that would get us started. Well, now that we know it is a girl she "has taken it to the next level" (to quote one of Adam's friends) yesterday and really hit the jackpot. She bought so many cute dresses with the matching bloomers for the summer and a few bubble suits. After looking around I have come to the conclusion that the clothes get really cute at 12 months. I am contemplating learning to sew...I will save the stories of my previous attempts for another post.

Jess

Welcome to the Blog Mr. ...

Counter. Yes, that's right, I installed a counter. Now I can see how many friends I really have. Except everytime I preview the blog to make sure it looks good it counts me so I think the 4 visits are all me. Oh and don't forget you can comment on any of my posts...

Jess

Contraptions

I spent quite a bit of time discussing the various baby contraptions that one can buy with a friend yesterday. I think I am happy with my choice of not buying a huge stroller and borrowing one (Fran's-though she will need it soon enough with her new baby!!!) until I can use an umbrella stroller (I am thinking lightweight and considerably smaller though the prices can vary. I do notice a difference as they go up in price). The bigger stroller barely fit in our trunk! So I am taking a poll, what are the best contraptions that you have seen or used?

Jess

That was fast

Well we have good news…We are getting a girl! Due January 31. My plan was to write about the adoption process and our experience until we had a “yes” call but that happened so fast. I am not complaining though. We had two calls last week and we said yes to our profile being presented to both. At first I thought we were one in three profiles being sent to each of them but later was told that they asked for all that matched and were interested. I realized that our chances were slim and then proceeded to doubt how good our profile (which is basically a scrapbook) really was. I looked back and all I could see is that our pictures looked reddish and we looked really boring. We didn’t have pictures of us in the mountains or on ski trips, etc. Of course that isn’t what we do so that is why they weren’t in there. A picture of us standing at the magazine racks at Barnes and Noble or waiting for a table at Margaritas would be a more accurate depiction of who we really are on a daily basis (and Barnes and Noble could really be considered a high point in our social life).

Ok, so back to the story. We got a call from the agency on Friday night (while we were in Sam’s with my mom and AD’s mom and his brother) and they let us know that Katie (one of the birth moms) wanted a conference call with us. She indicated that this is a good sign and we were the only ones getting a conference call. I commented that she seemed like such a special person from what I had read and the lady from the agency said that everyone at the agency just loves her and thinks she is so cute and sweet. At the time it didn’t really hit me that she was close to making a decision and that is why she was talking with us. I thought of it more like an interview. Adam and I were both really anxious about the call and it was set up the next day for 6 PM. We were in Yazoo City and the agency called us there to connect us.

We got there around 4 and I was so nervous that we decided not to eat before the call and after the call I was to excited to eat (I call it the Adoption Diet). So at 6 the phone rang and within seconds we were talking. We liked her immediately and could see what the agency meant about her being so sweet and cute. She had a great personality and went right into asking us a few questions. The first was how many kids do you want and then she said she was having a girl (which we knew) and wondered if we had names that we liked. We listed some and then she said well you might want to decide on one because I am picking you. We were so excited but somehow we kept from crying and we were able to talk more with her and get to know each other. The more we talked the more we just loved her (though I think that was immediate when she said she was giving us her baby) and we felt a connection with her when we first learned of her situation and circumstances.

She was so strong during the conversation. She asked if we would come for the birth and she told us about school, her college plans, doctor’s visits, and she told us she is keeping a pregnancy scrapbook for us (just and example of how sweet she is). I am so glad we got to talk because it reassures us about her decision and gave us a chance to express our appreciation, respect, and the many other feelings you have about such a gift. Towards the end she got teary and so did we, but we ended the conversation with plans to talk again and get updates from either her or the agency on doctor visits. It was hard to get off the phone. When we hung up we just sat there in Adam’s parents den and didn’t say anything for a few minutes. I was crying out of excitement for us and sadness for Katie because I knew this wasn’t easy for her despite her upbeat tone during the conversation. The agency called us back after a few minutes and went over some details on fees, travel, etc. Then we were able to tell our family. We walked down the hall and AD said “well I hope you like girls” or something like that. I called my mom and of course she was excited and I told her about the call while Adam told his family. After that it was a race to see who could call more. I won.

Jess

The Beginning

This is our first post. We will use this to keep everyone updated on the adoption. Thanks for visiting.

Jessica