The Decision
It seems like everyone has a different reason to adopt but their purpose is all the same...to end up with a child. Adam and I had always said that we would adopt a boy if we had 3 girls and vice versa. I have heard several people say that they wanted to adopt someday and we just decided why not go ahead (Hey, and don't forget that it is very chic these days...I mean if Angelina can do it so can I) . I don't think we really decided until we got a packet from an agency in Utah. I am not sure if it was the cute paper they used or what but we just got so excited about the prospect. We had been talking about adoption and foster care a lot in the past year as a friend of mine volunteered/worked a the Baptist Children's Village and my mom was getting interested in doing that too. Every week there was a story about kids who needed homes, sadly most of those children are unadoptable due to parents not relinquishing their rights in the hopes that one day they would be able to raise them. And let's face it most people want babies anyway.
We decided to go the agency route and to pursue adopting now because...why wait if it is something you want to do? We have had such a good experience with it and that makes me want to squash any reasons not to do it. Please don't take this as me saying EVERYONE should do it but if you have the need or heart or home for it then YOU should. Here are a few reasons I have heard for not adopting. It costs to much...not anymore than a Camry and you don't get a 10,000 tax credit for buying a Camry, but you do for adoption (and if you get twins you get 20,000-it practically pays for itself!). It takes to long...not if you are willing to pay a bit more for an agency that uses the extra money for advertising. (our agency average is 5 months or less if you don't specify a boy or girl) All birth mothers are on drugs...I am not going to even comment on that except to say that it is not true. Circumstances are all different and most are sad but we should be thankful that they choose to give the child a family now and that they don't keep them and the child ends up in foster care later like some children. I (or my spouse) wants biological children only...I hear you. I think everyone wants a mini me but if you really believe that God is in control of every aspect of your life and does everything for your good and His glory then you may have to accept that adopting children is his way of giving you a family. If that isn't enough, think about a friend or relative you know that is adopted (try to use someone good that you like or this won't work) and imagine if they weren't adopted and what your life would be like without them...What if the mother changes her mind at the last minute...much like a miscarriage this would be a VERY hard thing, but again at God's hand. In addition, with the use of a good agency, you can be sure that the mother has been counseled and it being supported throughout this process. Including, when it is time to sign the baby over. Also, knowing that they can have some information that the baby is ok and happy (see the Open Adoption post) they are less likely to change their minds.
The bottom line is that if we are pro-life then we need to be pro-adoption. And again, I don't mean that I am saying everyone should do this or has to do it but I would not let any of the above (or similar) reasons be a deterrent if it is something that you want to do.
We decided to go the agency route and to pursue adopting now because...why wait if it is something you want to do? We have had such a good experience with it and that makes me want to squash any reasons not to do it. Please don't take this as me saying EVERYONE should do it but if you have the need or heart or home for it then YOU should. Here are a few reasons I have heard for not adopting. It costs to much...not anymore than a Camry and you don't get a 10,000 tax credit for buying a Camry, but you do for adoption (and if you get twins you get 20,000-it practically pays for itself!). It takes to long...not if you are willing to pay a bit more for an agency that uses the extra money for advertising. (our agency average is 5 months or less if you don't specify a boy or girl) All birth mothers are on drugs...I am not going to even comment on that except to say that it is not true. Circumstances are all different and most are sad but we should be thankful that they choose to give the child a family now and that they don't keep them and the child ends up in foster care later like some children. I (or my spouse) wants biological children only...I hear you. I think everyone wants a mini me but if you really believe that God is in control of every aspect of your life and does everything for your good and His glory then you may have to accept that adopting children is his way of giving you a family. If that isn't enough, think about a friend or relative you know that is adopted (try to use someone good that you like or this won't work) and imagine if they weren't adopted and what your life would be like without them...What if the mother changes her mind at the last minute...much like a miscarriage this would be a VERY hard thing, but again at God's hand. In addition, with the use of a good agency, you can be sure that the mother has been counseled and it being supported throughout this process. Including, when it is time to sign the baby over. Also, knowing that they can have some information that the baby is ok and happy (see the Open Adoption post) they are less likely to change their minds.
The bottom line is that if we are pro-life then we need to be pro-adoption. And again, I don't mean that I am saying everyone should do this or has to do it but I would not let any of the above (or similar) reasons be a deterrent if it is something that you want to do.
posted by Jessica QW at 11/16/2005 12:03:00 PM
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