Freaking out

No news, but you have to understand (and those who really know me know this already) that there does not have to be news for me to freak out. I am scared. Very, very scared. So scared that I might want to say " I want my mommy", but she is the one who scared me! I guess I am in denial but the baby is 4 weeks away. That should mean I have 4 weeks, right?. According to my mom, this means that it could come at any minute. My mom was suggesting that we be ready to leave at any moment from this point forward. THIS point forward? When you say "this" you mean "now"? I was on the phone with her thinking "how did I never consider this?" The baby at the top of the screen says I have more time. I mean who is to argue with that thing. It only moves when it really means it.

My mom said I should be ready at any moment so I am not freaking out when the time comes. I said " but I am freaking out right now". Now I know that it wouldn't be the end of the world if I left my house a little messy or someone else had to dig for dog toys and food, but I really want to do this right. Usually when I set a goal I never meet it and the event or project feels incomplete and I end up not enjoying the moment to its full potential or being disappointed in myself. I really want this to be different. It wouldn't be the end of the world if we missed the birth but it would feel so wrong to be watching the flight attendant show us how to buckle our seatbelts and use our seat as a flotation device if our baby was born and ready to be held. Ok, new list and new strategy.
To Do List

1. pack baby stuff (This is a long list. Why?)
2. wash everything (house included)
3. get a Baileysitter and have her food and toys ready to go
4. have Bailey groomed and her teeth cleaned.
5. lose ten pounds
6. get all the paperwork together
7. make a packing list so we don't forget anything important (like my hair diffuser)
8. get my hair cut
9. get Adam's hair cut
10. buy more mini tapes for the video camera.
11. teach mom to not record only her shoes while using the camera
12. get everything at work up to date and ready to turn over.
13. stop biting nails
14. have car detailed and cleaned out.
15. give house key to someone
16. water plants every day
17. pay bills early so it is done
18. figure out how we are going to print our announcements (take a printer? Is that insane?)

Strategy

1. Invite someone over that is motivating.
2. Invite friends over to see the parts of my house that I need to organize/clean so I feel the crunch of a deadline. Ok, I will exclude the garage because Adam won't play this game with me. Is anyone busy this Saturday? Would you like to come over and see that I have all the doors to my home open for all to see and enjoy??
3. Eat frozen meals every night so I don't mess up the kitchen or just stop eating (that will help with To Do #5)
4. Consider wearing a uniform to work so I will always have clothes clean.

Well that was helpful. I needed to collect my thoughts and share this with you all because I definitely don't have time to tell you all this individually. I mean look at this list. I really hope that only my friends read this thing. The others may not have known that I am crazy. The secret is out. I need a margarita.