Donut shop visit

This morning, I managed to drag Adam out of bed to go to Pillow Donuts for Sydney's first visit. According to a little boy in the shop (who happened to be, for those of you who know him, John Bursi's son, Jack) "babies don't like donuts". So that left me and Adam to the task of eating them. There is nothing more pleasing than a glazed cake donut...especially from Pillow's. We bought extra to take to Yazoo City today so his parents could try them.

I am worrying that she is being held to much! I had to make Adam put her down earlier, but that required a swat team approach with me saying "Put the baby down" slowly as if I was saying "lower your weapon". We are tired but we still have our sense of humor. In the mail today came a present from my old friend Sarah (Sherrod) Cottle. The cutest bows and a bracelet. I am going to put the bracelet on her now and let her wear it to see her grandparents (we still do not know what they will be called). I can't wait until her hair is longer and she can wear more bows to match her outfits. She wore the cutest thing last night out to eat. A cordouroy overall dress with a white shirt. I am usually not much for things like that but I have to admit it was pretty cute with the matching bloomers. I see her in gowns all day so it was nice for a change. I am going to try to not use any demin during her first year and stick with baby stuff while I can (can I get an Amen, Laura?).

Jess

Pictures

Week 3? Already?

Yesterday Sydney was 3 weeks old. I am 3 years older. I am not sure that I have had more than a 5 minute shower in weeks. Adam and I have gone from tired to more tired but happier every day. Seriously, it is getting better. She still doesn't know what the word schedule means but I am thinking that she will be a good student as we teach her that in the days ahead. We have worked hard to get back to our old life and incorporating her in it. We have gotten out for dinner (with her), gone to the store (with her) and had a wonderful Valentines Day (with her). Do you see where I am going with this?

No really, I have left her with babysitters. My family is more than willing. She spent most of Sunday afternoon napping by the fire all cozy in a bassinet at my mom's house and yesterday I went to the gym and left her bonding over Dr. Phil with my Aunt Cindy. The dog has really taken to her. She is disturbing Bailey's sleep and I don't think she appreciates that very much as she looks up and sighs every time she cries during the night. Bailey is there for the feedings during the day (when she (Bailey) gets up from her all day nap). She lays her head on my knee and She hasn't bothered here toys yet because we have kept Bailey's access to a minimum but we did have a battle retrieving the nose suctiony thing from Bailey but it does look curiously like a ball so I can't blame her.

I have been sleeping in more and those of you who know me well will be surprised at that since I am always up and ready by 7 no matter the bed time. I have come up with several inventions. One is a satin pillowcase so avoid the bald spots that babies get when they move around while laying down or sitting or being held... Another is a redesign of the formula dispenser (the round doesn't fit easily in the diaper bag) - maybe something flat like a flask with three compartments. Then later you can use it as a flask!

I am going to add pictures to this but I will have to get them off the Walgreens site since Adam has his computer at work! So check back!

Jess

Home is where the...

...sleep no longer happens. Well we are home. I apologize for not updating the blog. I still have not plugged in my computer so I haven't checked email either. We are somewhat settled in. Last night Sydney actually went to sleep after her feedings. I felt pretty good today. Now she is squirming and we can't seem to make her happy. She is eating like crazy so I guess maybe she is having a growth spurt.

Coming home was the best. We were really excited (and tired) and though I haven't unpacked and put away everything, I have had some success getting some order to the endless bottles and diapers. The day after we came home we got a swing. She likes it ok. It goes kinda fast. If you drape a blanket off of it it will slow it down and I think it is bearable. We are going to invest in a better monitor so we can put her in her room. The cradle thing insn't working for us since we stir at her every move and non-movement.

The day we got home was interesting. It was rainy and cold. Believe it or not, it was actually colder here than it ever was in Utah. Thank the humidity. I promise to put up some pictures of our arrival and some of her enjoying the comforts of home. I am sure she will look as though she has changed to those who don't see her everyday. We went to the doctor this morning for a 2 week check up and she has definately grown. She weighs 8 pounds, 8 ounces (from 7, 11) and is 20 1/4 inches long (from 19; 3/4). Well I am going to get some sleep while I can. I will get some pictures up tomorrow.

Jess

Give me an H! Give me an O! Give me an M! Give me an E!

What does that spell? We just got the call and we are heading home. We can't wait to see everyone! We will be home tomorrow afternoon!

Adam, Jessica, and Sydney (and Carolyn)

There's no place like home, there's no place like home...

Well, I have had my adventure and I am ready to get home. I am trying not to pester the agency but it is so hard just waiting around. I think I could be packed in 30 minutes if I had to be. Adam seems equally anxious to get home. We tried out the baby bjorn carrier yesterday. I think she likes it ok. I think it would be better if she was holding her head up. I will definately use it in the airport. A stroller would be nice, but who can travel with all that equipment. We all barely fit in the rental car.

Adam's mom went home this morning and I called the agency and they said that we will probably get clearance to leave today, tomorrow, or Friday. We will be on the first plane that we can get. I will be so glad to get to Jackson I think I will just leave our bags and run all the way home.

This afternoon we went to a cute baby shop and looked at clothes and stuff. It was pretty fun. It seems like the bigger they get the more fun the clothes get. I really need to learn to sew.

Jess

Diaper Bag

Ok, so I am still adjusting to being a mother. It is a new thing to remember all the extra stuff you need if you leave the house. I keep forgetting important things like bottles, bottled water, an extra outfit, etc. We went to the mall today and bought some clothes for the baby. Speaking of clothes...it concerns me that now I have to pick out an outfit for someone else each day. I have trouble decided what I want to wear and whether it looks nice and is weather/occasion appropriate. What now!?

Sydney has taken to sleeping on her side. It is very cute. Adam and I have taken to sleeping in any position we can get because who cares as long as it is sleep. I took a quick nap today while standing in line for lunch. Adam has made about a million trips to target for baby supplies. He called earlier saying that he was going to get the smaller can of formula because the other was huge. I guess she won't be eating it after we get through the small one, right?

I have no idea what we do to fill our days. I haven't seen much TV so I guess we are washing out bottles and washing clothes (oh, the laundry! and you should try it at a hotel) and staring at the baby. I am taking special care that she doesn't get cradle cap. We made friends with the nurses at the hospital so every time we went there to get her lab work done they would give us free stuff like scrub brushes, formula, diapers, etc.

This may change when we get home, but at this point I have lost interest in just about everything else but just staring at the baby. I haven't read my books or magazines. I have no house plans except to get a system down for the laundry, bottles, and the diaper bag stocking. Sounds boring, doesn't it? I have to stop staring eventually or she will get a complex and my home will go out of style by the time she leaves for college so I can't ignore that. Catch 22.

The one thing that I think amazes me and Adam both is that this actually worked! You may wonder why I phrase it that way. It is just that we just spent time doing paperwork, waiting around, decorating, buying things, and planning. It is weird when your plans actually come to an end...or is it a beginning? I guess deep down I didn't actually expect it to all work. Like maybe the anticipation would last forever. I didn't realize that I felt that way until now. It is funny how we can keep secrets from even ourselves.

Quick question. Is is normal to think you smell diapers all the time. I can't get it out of my nose. It is not like it is a bad smell...not yet.

Jessica

No more heel sticks!

We just got a call from the doctor and her billirubin level was down. Now Adam and my mom are off to exchange some announcements we bought. The vellum paper did not line up! Very uncool to find that out at 10 PM when you have a little annoucement sweat shop set up. I guess it will give us something to do tonight.

Jessica

Back Seat "Rider"

Ok, I have to admit that I have only been in the front seat of the car once since we go the baby. I am trying to wean myself off of it but there are so many oportunities to stare at her during a drive. Even Adam can't help himself. If I go into a store and leave Adam in the car with the baby, I always come out to find him parked in the lot (which leaves me to run to the car in the snow, wind, or whatever) and sitting in the back seat with her. She is so spoiled already! I tried to get into the front and Adam seemed appauled that I might leave her there. I stayed and we sang a Shania Twain song and a few Eighties favorites. She really like Elvis. I mean she slept right through 5 of his songs. And that is a good thing because as you can see, from my previous post, she doesn't sleep unless it is favorable to her!!

Jessica

Do you suffer from back pain? Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

Yes. Yes. Last night was really hard. At about 3:00 AM I seriously thought to myself "so this is why mothers are crazy". I don't know how you all do it. I was very tired when I first went to sleep around 11:00 and then at 12:35 Adam woke me to see about the baby. I had not had a whole REM cycle so I was super disoriented. I could have almost been mad at having to wake up but when I realized why I was up I was happy to be up...I feel bad for Adam because he got not sleep either. When I did get up to feed the baby I would go back to sleep but then Adam would stay up listening to her every sound...or lack there of. He would prefer that she make noise all the time so he doesn't have to check her breathing. I am not worried about that. I am more worried about her having her alert moments at night. She sleeps all day then at night after I feed her she just stares at me and wines if I don't hold her. I am not complaining (though it may sound that way), I am just giving some credit to mothers.

Jessica

Burrito Baby

My mom bought one of those swaddler blankets (above). She loves it. Below is a picture of her in her travel bed all bundled up and positioned on her memory foam flat head avoidance system with optional foam side envelopement mechanisms.

What's up?

Sorry if the site is having problems. Today we went to the hospital again to check Sydney's billrubin level. It is a little higher. It makes me sad. We will have to go back on Monday morning to check it again. So far we haven't had to put her under lights though we are trying putting her by the window. Most likely they will have home health bring us the lights for our hotel room if we do need them.

I have not checked out the gym here yet and I was so pleased that there was going to be one available. I think I will go look at it and hope that it inspires me. I haven't worked out in a week. It feels like much longer. My back is killing me. I am not sure why but I think it may have something to do with constantly bending over to change diapers or pick up things.

We had to move to another hotel room. Our other room was having problems in the air control department during the night. It was around 75 degrees at one point and the air won't kick on if it is below 40 outside. Switching rooms did give us a chance to reorganize our belongings though I don't think it is much different. I am starting to get concerned about fitting all our stuff on a plane. Is it a rule that your stuff must multiply while on vacation. We will keep you updated one our homecoming!

Jess

Celebration

After the paperwork was signed, we knew we would be able to get the baby the next day. That night we spent a couple of hours at the hospital with Katie and her family. Our moms got to see the baby and that was when the infamous diaper change happened. That evening we went to Super Target (love it!) and bought about a million snacks. You would think that we don't have food in Mississippi. Went took a chance on this cute place called MiMi's Cafe. It was a diner style menu with a gourmet flair.


The next morning Adam and I signed the paperwork at the agency and then went to the hospital to get the baby. It was really hard to watch her say goodbye. Adam and I cried most of the way home. At that point I wasn't sure that I would ever get the picture of Katie out of my mind every time I looked at the baby. That turned out ok because I don't think of that now but I have to admit I am not sure what I think. This is all so crazy. It doesn't feel real.

Meconium Happens

Ok, this goes out to Amy and Laura who said that I would eventually end up picking my child's nose (which I haven't yet...it is to small) or getting poop on me. My first diaper change happened in the hospital with all of Katie's family there and they were even video taping. I think Adam taped it too but I can take care of that. I started out nervous because everyone was watching To my surprise it was...well not normal looking...I don't mean to gross anyone out so don't read ahead it I am too detailed. I started out changing it with my left hand, which was a mistake, and trying to use those wipes from the hospital that you have to wet yourself. I ended up using a million wipes and I think the baby was screaming. There was laughing and pointing and then I looked at my hands and there it was. How did it end up there? I am usually so careful about what ending up on my hands because I am a nail biter. Not any more! No finger foods for at least two weeks...just kidding. I guess I have gotten over the gross stuff already though I know she might have other things in store.

Back to bloggin'

Here I am...back to my funny ways. I am not exactly rested but I think we can all agree that my most entertaining posts are written from lack of sleep (i.e. Humidity Please post).

Jess

A late night makes an early morning...but totally worth it.

Last night, my darling, as you slept,

I thought I heard you sigh,

And to your little crib I crept,

And watched the space thereby;

Then bending down, I kissed your brow

-For, oh! I love you so-

You are too young to know it now,

But some time you shall know.

Eugene Field

Jessica

Updates

We are going to be adding more and more pictures and some may be added to previous posts so keep scrolling down. We will also be adding more parts of the story as we get the chance so please excuse them being out of order. Sometimes I start a post and I don't get back to it until later and it will post in order of the time I started it...

Jess

We are back to the hotel

Hey everyone. I can't tell you how much your comments mean to us. We are back at the hotel now and just so excited. Adam is holding her as I type. Every time she moves our moms announce it like it is the most exciting thing that could ever happen. It was hard to watch someone give away her baby but we know that it was best and it was done because Katie loves her so much. We cried the whole way home. I could still cry just thinking about it.

The Perfect Moment, The Perfect Mohawk...

Jessica's Mom, Carolyn

Adam's Mom, Lavetta

Who's your daddy?

Me and my baby...

The moms arrive

So the moms plane was a little late on Tuesday night. That was perfect because it gave us time to throw our stuff into the new hotel room and get back to the airport. We picked them up and I could tell they were glad to be here. There is something about just being here that makes you think that things will be better once you are. They said that they end of things was not fun because they spend their time analyzing our tone of voice on the phone. We spent our time wondering wether we had come out here for nothing. We dropped by the hospital and let them see the baby through the window. We actually got a good nights sleep despite the important day ahead.

The next morning Adam and I went to the hospital and held the baby again. Things still seemed ok but we couldn't help but worry. We had lunch with our moms and waited for the call. We had so many people praying that I would love to see it mapped out with those little colored straight pins. I think the south would be completely covered and of course it would have 4 pins in Utah.

We got a call that Katie was finishing the paperwork and wanted us to come up. Apparently she really wanted us there during the signing but the agency had told us it would be better if we weren't. She told me that they said to her that it was a personal thing and she said that that is exactly why she wanted us there.

The Call

Monday, January 30, 2006 We got the call that Katie was in labor after we had supper at Macaroni Grill (we come all this way and eat there?). We were to check out of the hotel we were currently in the next morning so we packed all our stuff in the car in case we did not make it back. What fit in the back of the car when we first got there now took up the back seat and my passenger side floor space as well. We spent the whole night at the hospital where we met Katie's mom. We did get a little sleep. I think Adam got four hours and I had about 2. We mostly felt concern for Katie as she was having a hard time with such a long labor.

Through out the night I just stared at the monitors and occasionally dozed to the sound of the baby's heart beat. We had the lights out but one time during the night I woke up and looked at Katie and she gave this little smile and wave. It is hard to explain but since we arrived here we have been more focused on Katie than the baby. It was like we channeled so much of our energy into her that we would almost forget that there would be a baby at the end.

Then next morning we stayed in the waiting room mostly waiting for the birth. It was awkward at times with some of the family. On top of that we had to reserve our feelings for another 24 hours. I wish I could describe the feelings we had. In some ways I have been waiting for the ball to drop. Things have gone so well through this whole process and I just couldn't believe that it would end just like we wanted.

After the baby was born we caught a glimpse of her as she was wheeled out to the nursery. Katie's sister Hillary attended her and stayed with the baby. It very emotional out in the hall. Her sister's were crying out of sadness though they new it was what Katie wanted. We tried to stay in the corner and not look like vulchers waiting to take the baby away. Once we got in to see Katie we weren't sure how things were going. We got her ice and cokes and I gave her a purple stuffed hippo (she loves purple and hippos) that I found in the gift shop. She had forgotten hers and I think she has had that animal with her since we gave it. She asked us if we had seen the baby and told us she had signed papers giving us permission to go in the nursery. The Nursery Natzi wouldn't let anyone in though. Some nurses are not supportive of adoption and even the ones that are can be weird. The sort of act like all adoptive parents are pushy. We went a good while without catching a glimpse. When no one else was around I said to Katie "do you still feel good about this?". She said "Yes, I do". Sigh...a little hope.

Once Katie was moved to a room, we got to see the baby for the first time. It was a perfect moment now that I think back, but at the time it was hard to fully enjoy. Katie's family left and we were left with just her for a while in a finally quite room. She would talk to the baby and refer to us as mommy and daddy. This seems promising. I held the baby and Katie and I both cried for a while. She said that she was worried about how she would feel after the baby was born but it was easier than she thought it would be. We had become so close with her and even her mom and sister. Adam spent his time winning over her mom and we had the nurses practicing southern accents by the afternoon. It still didn't mean she was definately ours.

Thank you seems small

We can both say that the past 48 hours have been interesting (which includes good, bad, scary and thankfully happy). It has meant a lot to us to have everyone be so supportive and interested. The comments to our posts have brought tears to our eyes on more than one occasion and we will cherish them always. We would like to thank all our friends and family is Jackson, Monroe, NetworkStreaming, Arkansas, Methodist Rehab, Baptist Hospital, Yazoo City, Clinton, Vicksburg, Dallas, Nashville, Atlanta and the unidentified blog lurkers (we would love to hear from you!) for your thoughts, prayers, and support from beginning to end. God has answered our prayers. On our way to the hospital this morning I commented that the mountains were a perfect example of God's attention to detail and I thought how glad I was that He has planned our lives right down to the details. I have learned more about trust in the past few days than I could have ever imagined. Sometimes you fail but He never fails us and He gave us the strength we needed. Oh, what a relief though to finally have it over...and beginning.

Jessica
(and Adam, who was only awake during the first few sentences)

Introducing.....

Sydney Caroline White
7 pounds 11 ounces
19 3/4 inches
January 31, 2006
1:17 pm

Signing

The signing will be at 3:30 our time and 4:30 your time. Please be praying around that time. We will let you know as soon we get a call that it is over (we won't be there). Love to all.

Jessica

News

The baby was born yesterday at 1:17. She is very cute and we are hoping she is truly ours. The papers should be signed today (this afternoon). So far so good. Katie is still on board and we were able to spend some good time with just her and the baby. Her family has been around a lot and it hasn't all been pleasant. I will update for sure this afternoon when she signs the papers.

Jessica